Archive for July 2008

the end of an unhealthy relationship

July 22, 2008

So I’ve been meaning to end it for about the last 3 years. Talked about it a few times, thought about it a lot more. Finally did it. The gutless way – I sent an email.

I want out.

I missed the first call, listened to the message, didn’t call back.

The second call caught me by surprise. ‘But it’s been six years….’

“I know, it’s not you, it’s me’ I replied. (How lame is that?)

‘I want to do other things, you’re holding me back. I’m stuck in this huge rut, and I can’t see a way out of it while you’re in my home. I need my space back.’ 

“Well, let’s keep in touch……a phone call every so often?”

‘That would be nice.’ I lied. ‘How about you call around Christmas? Things might be different then.’ (Not likely.)

And that was it. Done. Over.

As of 11 August, my Austar subscription ends. (AKA cable, Foxtel, the only thing worth watching on the box.)

I am grieving. I’ll miss it terribly. But I know, in time, I will rebuild my life. Better, stronger.

I could end up like Alex Blagg.

He has read the whole internet like four times.  

I’ll let you know how I go with that. With the extra 16 hours each day that I won’t be watching Austar, I just might do it.


what the beep?

July 21, 2008


Why do kitchen appliances make such fucking annoying sounds?

My dishwasher beeps FIVE times when it’s finished. FIVE irritating, demanding, ‘look at me, look at me’ beeps to notify me that the dishes are now clean and shiny.


Yes, I am incredibly grateful that I have this wondrous machine that converts crud-covered slabs of stickiness into purdy, shiny, strokable crockery, but why the fuck does it have to beep FIVE times?

Couldn’t it have a nice, discreet English butler voice that says, unobtrusively, ‘Pardon me, Ma’am, the crud-covered slabs are now dishes and they are sparkly and squeaky clean.’  

Or a sound effect. Themed. A wave washing onto the shore. Symbolically representing the cleansing of the dishes. Or a waterfall. Cleansing, soothing, makes you want to pee, but that’s okay. Better than those FIVE fucking beeps.

I’d settle for one beep. Or a volume control.

Or instructions on how to hack the dishwasher and kill the beeps. I am willing to pay.

friday night, vodka and bruce.

July 18, 2008

Springsteen. Bruce Springsteen. Born to Run was one of the anthems of my teenage years.

I wanted to be Wendy.  You know, ‘Wendy let me in, I want to be your friend, I want to guard your dreams and visions…..together Wendy we can live with the sadness, I’ll love you with all the madness in my soul……’

I wanted somebody to love me with that kinda soul madness – until I got it, and found out that it wasn’t so much fun. The best part was wanting it – feeling that heart wrenching desire  – vodka on a Friday night brings it all back, 30 something years later. Mad soul always. 

Think I’ll change my name to Wendy.